The Mom Shrug

First of all, I just have to say that I am loving this whole mom thing. There have been rough moments here and there don't get me wrong, but I have never found myself tearing up with joy as often as I have in the past 5 weeks. The whole experience has given me a lot of insight into God the Father. Growing up, we always heard that God created us because He loves us, but I never really understood the joy and delight He finds in us. Additionally, just having Diana around has made me think about God more than I ever did before her. So just by existing, she has brought me joy and has brought me closer to my faith.

One of my favorite new discoveries is how she has taught me to trust God. Thinking back to how much I felt like I couldn't control or plan things before makes me laugh. I had no concept of a lack of control or planning. Now, my whole day is rescheduled around when she needs to eat. I don't get to plan it, I just go about living my day until she starts asking to eat.

With this in mind, I had two options, I could either let my type A self get frustrated and try to control the situation, or I could institute "The Mom Shrug" in my life. "The Mom Shrug" is that moment when you look at what's happening and say "Welp, there's no point in freaking out. Let's just roll with it."



I used to think people were joking when they said that their kids were making them "lose their mind." What I have discovered is that it was not a joke. There are so many times when I totally forget things that I've just said and done. Things that happened seemed to have been completely erased from my mind. I have to write EVERYTHING down because I don't remember what I need to do for the day unless I have a list.

I made a new friend recently who has a 6 month old, and we made plans to go to the Christmas Village in Charlotte. I'd never been, but I was down for an adventure. We made plans to meet at 1. I started getting ready to go around noon. The diaper bag was packed. I'd eaten my lunch. I'd saved the address for the parking garage on my phone and already looked up the best way to get there. It was 25 minutes away, so I would leave at 12:30. Then, Diana started asking to eat around 12:20. (Insert Mom Shrug). As I was sitting down to feed her, my friend texted and said she would be late. I told her I was in a similar situation. Diana's been doing this new thing where she takes an hour to eat because she needs to burp and poop halfway through. So when my friend texted again with a delay, I confirmed again that we were in the same boat.

Finally, we made it out the door. As I was getting off of 277 and driving through downtown, I realized I had the address for the parking garage but I had forgotten to look at where the actual Christmas Village was. (Insert Mom Shrug) Even if I got the address from my friend, I would only be able to navigate directions while in my car because I'm one of those stubborn people who has a basic phone. That would mean I'd have to hope that the car's GPS was up-to-date enough that it had the Village's location. So I parked the car and texted my friend to see if she parked in the same garage that I did. That way maybe we could meet up instead of me trying to wander around Charlotte. While I waited for her to respond, I set up my stroller and got Diana ready.

When my friend responded with a location she was near, I told her I wasn't good with directions. She said she wasn't good with them either, but she could try to explain how she had gotten there. Insert Mom Shrug. I started walking. I figured if I could just get outside, I might see something familiar enough to give me my bearings. I headed towards the elevator, but it was not wheelchair accessible, and I was not about to struggle to lift the stroller up onto the sidewalk. Mom Shrug. I turned around and decided to walk down the parking garage until I got back to the entrance. I continued texting my friend as we walked down from level four to level two.

That was when I heard "Hey!" I had stopped to send a text right behind my friend's car.

There were so many little decisions that I could've made in a panic: turned around and gone home to get the address, stayed in my car and called someone else to find the address for me, tried to lift the stroller up to take the elevator rather than walking down the garage. They all would have led me somewhere other than right behind her car at that moment. It's funny how things seem to work out when you just let go of your need to control and let the Holy Spirit guide you.