A Tribute Part 7

The Choice

So here we are in part 7. The last piece of the story before the reflection / explanation of how and why I wrote this tribute the way I did. In our timeline, it is 7 months since I found out I was pregnant with Raphael and 7 months from when Daniel and I got married. In reality, it is 7 months since I miscarried. (Well, I guess 7 months from when I'm writing this, not 7 months from when you're reading this - which means it's also 7 weeks since I got that positive pregnancy test). 7 is quite the perfect number isn't? Something so providential and divine about it. 

God is funny that way isn't He? When He give us that little glimpse into how perfectly He can design things? For example, what better way to give hope and honor to Raphael's memory then to give hope and life to our family right around the same time? Would that be His plan? 

Daniel and I finally got to the doctor's office that Friday, and we anxiously waited for them to come in with the results. After what felt like an hour, the nurse came in and handed me this pack of papers with this little picture of a stork carrying a baby on the top. I looked at Daniel and back at her as she started asking me questions and typing on her computer. When there was a break in her interrogation, I said, "Wait. So I am pregnant?" Oh man, you should've seen the look on her face. It clearly read: If you didn't think you were pregnant, why did you come in? Clearly, this woman did not know anything about the past 7 months of our life. Don't they keep that kind of stuff on file? 

She said yes. 

I looked back at Daniel. I was pregnant again. For real this time. Actually pregnant. So immediately, I wanted to know when we would get to see our baby. When the doctor came in, he asked if this was my first pregnancy. I don't get it. Don't doctors keep files on their patients? I feel like miscarriage or false positive should have popped up pretty clearly there. Do they really not even skim files before coming to talk to us? Imagine how much faster appointments would go if they didn't ask exactly the same questions at literally every appointment. I explained that I had miscarried at 10 weeks in September, and the ultrasound at 6 weeks had shown no signs of life. When he asked if I had any indication of miscarriage before the ultrasound, I said no.

"Great," he said. "We'll schedule your ultrasound for 10 weeks then." 

TEN WEEKS.

I HAD TO WAIT FIVE - FIVE  - WEEKS TO SEE MY BABY?

Didn't he understand what he was suggesting? What stress he would be putting me under by making me wait? Didn't he realize how I would flinch and stress with every little pain in my abdomen? Didn't he realize how much I would stress about what to do with my job? Didn't he realize how much sleep I would miss?

God did me a solid though. There is one sure sign that things are working correctly in pregnancy. That's right people. I was throwing up constantly. Let me tell you, it made the decision with work so easy. I needed to take off the first trimester. For sure. I was leaving the classroom about three times each 90 minute block to throw up, and I couldn't bring enough food to compensate for it. I always ran out of food to the point of near delusion by the time I left school at 2:45. It was unhealthy. So, I took off four weeks in addition to Spring Break to take care of myself. I'm technically still an employee of CMS which is why the detailed stories about work have to wait until June 12th when I'm no longer employed by them. 

So, by the time you are reading this, I will be going back to work on Monday. Which means 

little baby Peters is 13 weeks old, and the first trimester is over! Ladies and Gentleman, we are having a baby around October 27th! (This picture was taken on Holy Thursday when baby was only 10 weeks old.)

I was taking off time from work. I was leaving my students, and I felt they deserved to know why. So, I decided to make the Do Now (which is this warm-up activity students do when they enter a room), to name things the size of a raspberry. When it was time to share, the students were incredibly engaged to the point of shouting out answers. Then, I changed the slide to this picture from the bump.com: 

I said "You know what else is the size of a raspberry? Mrs. Peters' baby." 

The class went dead silent. 

In every class, it happened the same way. One student would shout or scream "You're pregnant!?" and the class would erupt. Their joy and excitement was so vibrant that security actually came to my second block because they thought there was a riot in my classroom. That was a wonderful moment with my students. Their joy and support through the rest of class that day reminded me that joy should be a part of my pregnancy - hopefully as I rested and the throwing up eased I would feel it too right?

Y'all, there is so much more to say. So much more about the journey, but I've been waiting so long to share this, and I think just like with Raphael, I'm going to leave the joy here. We're having a baby. I've known for 8 weeks, and I still can't believe it.

Thank you to those of you who have been there since August and those of you who have reached out to Daniel or I in the past nine months whether you knew about either pregnancy or not, having all of you around made God's presence and embrace that much clearer through the joys and the sorrows. 

I also want to thank in a special way those of you who have been following along via blog: those of you who didn't know about Raphael until his would-be-birthday. Thank you for reading. Thank you for reaching out to Daniel or I with your thoughts and prayers. There is no greater reward for a writer than to know that you have impacted someone else with the way you organized a series of funky black shapes on a screen. I wanted you to be the first publicly privy to our good news because I appreciate your readership.

Tune in on Thursday April 26th for a baby bump picture and the details of what led me to announcing the baby's birth this way!