To Get Our Attention

Life is CRAZY!
Sorry I've been gone for a few weeks. I went up to CNU and visited my sister, and I was celebrating Daniel's 21st birthday the next weekend.  My weekends were full, and blogging was one of the last things on my mind. In the midst of all this, God has been teaching me much about myself and the various people in my lives.  He's done a lot to get my attention.

Sometimes being at a small Catholic school can be a lot of pressure. A lot of people tend to be ultra-conservative or ultra-liberal.  There are obviously people in between, but they are hard to see when you find yourself in one of the ULTRAS.  Needless to say, sometimes the pressure gets to me. Going to see my sister was exactly what I needed.

On the way up to visit her, I listened to some Lighthouse CDs, which was AMAZING.  It was almost like going to a retreat and listening to the talks.  Getting on a different campus, eating different food and being around different people was refreshing. We had a dance party on Friday night to songs like "Fake ID" by Big & Rich (there's a line dance in the new Footloose movie) and "The Biker Shuffle" and went out to a place called "The Banque" on Saturday night. 

The Banque was like an exclusive line dancing restaurant / bar. Literally, the DJ oh so kindly said that there were line dance lessons during the week for those of us who clearly didn't know what we were doing...seriously not a welcoming place. Even though it was really cool, and I really wanted to be a part of it, it wasn't an ideal "hey my sister's in town for one night" kind of thing.  I was much expecting it to be like Coyote Joe's here in Charlotte, but oh well.  It was still a good time (and a humbling) experience.  If I was better at dancing, I might've caught on sooner, but it was neat to watch my sister out there having a good time and picking up the dances as quickly as she did.

But Meg's friends were really nice, and I had a really great time (even though her room was FREEZING).  It was a nice way to unwind and remember that the world outside of Belmont Abbey is very different, and there is much to learn from both.

On the ride back, I listened to more Lighthouse CDs, and one of them was about God trying to get our attention.  Afterwards, I found a CD that my High School friend Melissa had made for me.  There is one song that will ALWAYS get me.  It makes me cry.  Every.  Time.  And of course, Melissa had put it on the CD: "How He Loves."  That day it just hit me, and I played it OVER and OVER and OVER.  And I cried. A lot.  It was wonderful, and in that moment He had my full attention.  I wasn't thinking about school.  I wasn't thinking about everything I wasn't doing right and everything I needed to avoid to be truly holy.

My spiritual life at that point had turned into making sure I'm not doing anything wrong rather than focusing on doing things right.  The point of all of it - any of it - is that He loves us, and I was so focused on the rules that I had forgotten this.  Our faith is about God, and God is love.  That's what it's all about: love!  Somehow, in trying to be perfect, I had forgotten to love.  To love Him.  To love Daniel.  To love my friends.  It's small, and only lasts about four minutes (if you only play it once...), but He can use the smallest things to remind us just how great His love for us is.  Just how much He loves us - and how much He desires our love for Him.

So BE ALERT!!  This lent, remember why we fast, pray, give alms etc.  We do it to love Him better, to remember that we are not of this world, but of His world.  Be ready for Him to get your attention because "He is jealous for me," and just wants us to love Him.