Rainy Day Nostalgia

I can't help but look back on a lazy rainy day like today. School's winding down. I've got great friends to help me through the stress of school and life.  The anticipation for summer builds with each passing hour.  I have a wonderful steady support system back home full of people I love dearly.  I've got steady work coming my way.  I feel like I'm floating on the top of the world unable to do anything except stare at the sky with arms upturned to the God who gave it all to me. Like that day, rain pours down from the heavens today just like His graces always have.

A year ago today, I had no idea I was on my way to a completely changed life.  God was about to rock my world when I thought it couldn't get any better. So there I was, carefully getting my hair done by one of the sweetest girls I knew. My stomach turned with anticipation as I thought of the jam-packed evening my friends and I had planned out.  Aside from my wedding day, I don't think any day could have gone more slowly than that one.  As usual, I was ready too early before it was time to head over to one of my best friend's house with my mom and sister.
After I got there, we all slipped into our blue floor length dresses, all dolled up and had our parents take so many pictures that our cheeks hurt. We went to dinner with some of the nicest girls I know before venturing to prom.  A year ago today, this beautiful mess began, and my life will never be the same.  I can't believe it was only a year ago that one of my best friends was merely an acquaintance.  A year ago, my life was so different, but so perfect.  Now, a year later, I can't believe how God could hand me another perfect hand.  I've been so blessed, and today I can't help but contemplate on this past year and everything that has happened.

When I do, my heart fills with an overwhelming gratitude that brings me to tears.  I can't believe how spoiled I am.  I have wonderful parents who have stuck through all of it and loved me when I didn't make it easy.  I have a sister who has listened to every complaint, every dream, every cry, every laugh that has ever even skimmed my mind.  Without her, the walks we took, and the talks we had, I can't imagine how I could have survived this past year. I've lost some amazing friends who have all moved on to become the women they will be for the rest of their lives, and though this - perhaps - is what pains my heart the most, I can't help but smile when I think about everything they have been to me and everything they've done for me.  They are what made High School such a cherished memory. Every single one of them, and though I miss them dearly, I also know that - like me - they are different people now with different lives and different friends.  Then I have my best friend who is my sister. Girl, I can't imagine my life without you. I definitely would have gone crazy without you to remind me who I am and how I became the person I am today. And I thank you for loving me through it all - even when I know I drove you crazy.

As that era ended, some stayed the same like my family and my best friend, but many things changed.  I met a boy who has become a man.  A man I can depend on.  A man who loves me and means the world to me.  I found myself welcomed into another family who I already feel like I have known my whole life.  I've also been embraced by amazing friends at this school.  I am so glad I have decided to stay because when I look around at the smiling faces and loving eyes, I can't imagine being surrounded by any other group of people. Overall, I lost a lot by going to college, and I miss it all dearly, especially my sister, but I didn't really lose any of that because it all lies in my heart and influences how I carry myself day-to-day in this beginning of a new era of my life.

I know this is all super cheesy, but sometimes these things need to be said.  People are afraid to say things that are really on their hearts because they don't want to be so vulnerable, but I'm going to be honest. I miss my family, and I can't wait to go home and be with them again.  I miss the family I had at work (both jobs).  I miss the friends that got me through High School with smiles through it all.  I miss having my best friend living less than 10 hours away.  I miss it all, but God gave me another wonderful hand of cards for this round, and I know that no matter what, He's always going to take care of me, and I thank Him for that.
Have a great Sunday!!