Here is my string of thoughts as to what makes a man "a Man."
A man ought to be someone who protects first and foremost. I don't necessarily mean physically protect. Believe it or not, there are worse things we need to be protected from. Don't get me wrong, women can defend themselves, I'll get to my shpeel about women in a later post, but men should still have a protectorate side to them. No matter how strong and independent I am, I want men to be there to take care of me when I'm sick, to lift me up when I'm falling down, to make me smile when I've got a frown, to celebrate my triumphs and to calm my fears. Men should have that protectorate instinct.
A prime example of why this is so important is the situation between the first man and woman. If you think about it, that's how sin entered the world, and people don't focus on that story enough. I heard an analysis of the Fall once in a Bible study, and rather than putting the blame on Eve as most people do, it was placed on Adam. The man. The speaker reminded us that when Eve ate the apple, she turned and gave it Adam. She didn't call him. She didn't have to go find him. He was standing there the whole time, and what was happening? A huge, dragon-like creature persuaded his woman to eat an apple from the tree. Did he try to stop the devil? Did he protect his wife from the ultimate evil? From a big scary monster? No. This is why men must protect us.
I'm not saying we're all going to be harassed by an intimidating dragon-like embodiment of Satan (and if I ever face that I certainly HOPE I have a better man than Adam by my side), but there are still dangers in this world that men ought to help protect us from. Although we're not helpless - clearly, Eve could've said no - that doesn't mean Adam does not need to speak up for her and that men shouldn't come to our aid as well.
So how does a man do that today? Nowadays we have fairy tales and movies that present characters in a Flynn or Eugene contrast. They are either ladies' men, bad boys, self-indulged criminals OR they're protectors, openhearted softies, chivalrous gentlemen, tender sweethearts. Guess who Rapunzel chose folks! Eugene. The second set of options. Men should still have their "guy" time and whatever else they do, but there's still a standard that I think society has refused to demand of men that ought to be brought back.
There are some men who live up to this standard and exceed it as well. I know a man who reads his daughter's blog every day to show his support for her aspirations. I know plenty of men who work on their relationship with God because they know it's important to their wives and important for their own souls. I know men who sacrifice time with buddies or promotion/relocation in their job for their children's happiness. I know men who open car doors, grocery store doors, office doors, for women. I know men who still address women with "ma'am" or "miss." I know respectful men, generous men, responsible men, charitable men, loyal men, faithful men, Godly men. I know Manly men.
This standard is not too high for men to reach. It's not too high for boys to look up to. It starts though with fathers, and then with mothers, girls, peers, media etc. Maybe this is an ultra-conservative way to view men, but I've got some incredible men in my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you to all of the Men in my life for the influence, support, direction, and joy that you have all brought to my life.
I know it's cliche, but I had to include the video :) And there's my rant for now. Have a great day!
To start, the men you envision are out there. You may have to look past the Flynn to see the Eugene. Just don't try to change a Flynn into a Eugene, you may end up with Jekil & Hyde.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I have to defend my boy Adam. God gave Adam Eve and told him to take care of her. Was he standing right there when she was tempted? From your account yes. Was he saying anything like:
"Hey, babe, the BIG GUY says we're not supposed to eat those."
"Sweetie, isn't this the tree we're not supposed to eat from?"
"Why are you listening to this snake instead of me?"
So then she eats the apple and does not drop dead right there. This puts doubts in his mind. The part of him that was a primal protector saw that she did not physically die. He did not think fast enough to realize that God was talking about another type of death. A spiritual death.
So Adam did take the male gender down a peg or two, but nothing that could not be overcome by St. Joseph! The model by which all men should aspire to! God says, he does. Mary needs, he provides. This is the man every man should aspire to.
Now what about Eve? Why is it that the devil tempted her and not Adam? Why did the fall from grace not occur when Eve ate the apple? (this one is easy) I think we need to remember that these stories where written long after these events occurred and not by anyone who witnessed them. Thankfully, God righted the history of male and female by giving us St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary as examples.
I know they're out there. I just wish there were more of them for my gal pals who find too many boys rather than men.
DeleteOk ok I see where you're coming from about Adam, but still. I know they're both at fault, but I still think that it's a good example of a man who needed to be protectorate - especially since the Bible doesn't include any comment from Adam of forewarning.
I agree! St. Joseph is an excellent model for any man. His loyalty to his wife, son, and God is unbelievable.
I know the Bible isn't one hundred percent accurate detail to detail, but that doesn't mean that the stories don't hold morals that we're supposed to live by. What you're pointing out is the difference between Old and New Testament. The Old Testament is full of "Do Not"s. Thus Adam and Eve. The New Testament presents "Do"s. Thus Mary and Joseph. Perhaps looking at the New Testament is a more optimistic way to view life, but I still think it's important to evaluate the "Do Not"s that God presents in the Old Testament.
Thanks for your comment! :)